when I was physical

there was a time when I was so inspired
to feel I could not live without
the vision of the one I loved
if I could not touch her every day
I ached all over
it's been so long since I felt that way

I don't know when or how my brain was rewired
to to deal with unfulfilled desire
and accept the isolation
of not knowing a lover's touch
and resting easy
as if I never wanted anything that much

somewhere in my memory is a passion
an uncompromised motivation
the pinnical of sensation
the ultimate inspiration

somewhere along the way
I lost the power to give that power
to someone else
so content with myself
what was once the point of this life
is now something else

is there no need in me anymore
and how can I love as I once knew
the passion that I once knew before
I don't know what's left for me to do

if no one can stimulate me now
to make me want to lose control
and give everything I am
I don't know my life's role

the hopefully hopeful romantic
perfect love
that was my highest goal
now I watch and wonder why
did the losing take it's toll
or is it maturity
feels like insanity

somewhere deep inside is a memory
that inspires me
to still want to find someone
who makes me lose control

I recall when I was physical
how it felt to want someone so much
that being with her was my only goal